A Cat's Way
by Avril Stayne
Summary: After three years in the Company Alice had decided to return to Underland. But after such a long time has everyone given up hope that she remebers? Has even her best friend the Mad Hatter been driven so far as to push her memory from his mind?AliceXHatter
1. Prologue: Red Sparrows

**Prologue:**

The dirt fell off the smoky red jewel as Tarrant Hightopp raised the necklace to his haunted eyes. "My, my, what have we here….!" He whispered excitedly. He placed the jewel to his palm for closer examination. A wistful red orb was suspended between two gold chains, and a sparrow in mid flight arched its tiny wings across the stone. "Hmmmm…" he murmured, squinting. It seemed like he should know this strange object.

Tarrant glanced around at his surroundings. The entrance to the Garden of Live Flowers, now flourishing with the absence of the bloody Red Queen.

"Pardon me, madam, but would have any inclination as to who this mysterious necklace belonged to?" The Hatter asked a rather standoffish Tiger-Lily, sprouting at his foot.

"That little thing…I believe it's that Alice girls trinket. Must've dropped when she arrived in _our_ Garden." She snuffed.

Tarrant's mood always went all sideways and slantways whenever her name came up. His dear friend had decided she couldn't simply run away from her problems up top. She had promised she'd be back again before he knew it, but she would never remember their friendship even if she did make it back. She hadn't before, she wouldn't again.

"Oh…" He said. His neck tie drooping and dying itself a gloomy grey tint of its former coloring, his whole manner becoming downtrodden, and longing. He turned, his mad green gaze still locked on the thing.

"The bonnie wee lass will be back somedeae…" The Hatter reassured himself in his gutteral accent. His only hope was Absolem saying that Alice seemed to look like she might have remembered her adventures in Underland. Just a slight hint.

But Tarrant knew his Alice; if she wanted to, she would remember her promise, She had only just left this place, she had to have time, then she would return. He knew it. The Mad Hatter stuffed the chain into his left coat pocket, letting the jewel hang our over the rim. He intended to give it back to his dear friend again soon.


	2. Chapter 2: Chesire Grin

**Chapter 1: Chesire Grin**

Her blonde mane hung in shambles over Alice's streaming eyes. She had screamed herself awake again hadn't she. She sat up and rubbed the sleepy terror out of her eyes. These nightmares had only bombarded her this much when she was home, and they were always something different, but it was still always them waiting for her, and her desperately wandering forever trying to find them, not to break her promise. After her breath steadied, and she had wiped her eyes, Alice glanced up at the crescent moon, its ethereal ivory teeth grinning back at her in an inviting smile.

Alice let her troubled mind wander as she lay back down in the layers of blankets. She let old memories of this room float back to her, of her father, Charles, playing tea party, and storm the castle with her in her child hood room. Her mother, Helen, tucking her in at night, and telling her she has no proper reason for a sensable girl to fear the goblins under her floorboards. All child hood sweets all had melted away with the slow decay of time. But Alice still had her mother to laugh with from time to time.

Her mother. She thought. Those emerald ocean orbs floated above the smiling moon like they had in a dream long ago, calling. It was decided then; she'd made up her mind of when to go back to that land, now she had to tell her mother. Alice let her glittering eyes rest on the cats for a moment before she blinked and they were gone. Then she let all fade away into the horizon, and slept.


	3. Chapter 3: Farewell Muffins

**Chapter 3: Farewell Muffins**

Cold white light filtered through the lacy cloud covering, and through the window. Alice blinked against the cloudy light, and arched her back in a stretch, the bone letting out a satisfying crack. She sat up and pushed her warm feet to the exposed outside air, only to quickly shove them into her slippers. Alice's mind thudded as she realized what day it was, exactly three years ago was the Frabjus Day, the day she had slain the Jabberwocky and freed all of Underland from the bloody Red Queen. _Oh yes, _that's_ right. _She thought _I had hoped to come back on that day. _If luck were to serve her, it was now. She stood up and made her way to the mirror. Alice's room was now filled with souvenirs from all over India and Asia, where she had traveled with the Company. One was an intricate blow gun from Calcutta, along with many horns and bones, and native jewelry. Along with dark hand woven furinture from a trader in the Oreint, and a fine porceline China set with elegant depictions of tigers and dragons scribbled with talent, all mixed with many, many different books from all over the world about just about anyhting you could imagine.

Alice grasped the handle of the hair brush lying on the dresser, and briefly ran it through her gold forest of hair, then splashed her porcelain face with some icy water from a basin with Hindu carvings on it. Then she pulled on a shawl over her bead clothes. On Alice's arm briefly flashed four faint crescent scars etched into her skin. They were small in length, for time had healed the once angry wound, and it still remained the only scrap of evidence to say that it was not all a dream. Alice stepped across the crowded room to the nightstand where the contract to sign over part of the Company to her. Lord Ascot had offered her a prestigious place in the Trading Company a week ago when she had returned from Hong Kong. But she knew she could never accept such reasonability. So she told him to keep up her, and now his, dream. She placed the papers back on the stand, and turned to open the door to the hallway, then down the creaking wooden stairs to find her mother, just awake as well, sitting in the parlor.

Helen Kingleisgh smiled sleepily at her daughter. "Good morning my dear." She cooed. She wore a simple cream night dress and was wrapped in a green and brown blanket against the early morning spring chill of London.

"Good morning mother." Alice answered back sweetly. She settled into the chair next to her mother. The sun hadn't entirely woken up yet and still filtered weakly through the clouds making every color in the parlor a shade of pastel. The cloudy light danced through the window right next to the table where they sat.

"So, let me hear of all those impossible things you dream about." Her mother asked. She had become more imaginative of late, but she still looked a bit ruffled at Alice's lack of corsets.

"Well," said Alice. "One was that there was a rather oddly colored duck, he was bright green you know." She spun her tale. Her mother looked like she had when Alice was a child and claimed a huge lizard named Bill was stuck in their chimney. She smiled. "The green duck's name was Constantine." Alice continued.

"Well now, what was the third then?" her mother mumbled around a mouthful of apple she had plucked from a basket on the table.

"Hmm," Alice thought for a moment. "So one day his friend, a fox, asked for his most prized umbrella. But Constantine claimed it had gone missing. The fifth was that the fox grew rather angry with the duck for losing such a valuable umbrella, so he splattered the green duck's beautiful feathers with an ugly orange paint." Her mother's face went up on mock horror and worry and Alice smiled as she finished her story. "Constantine grew horribly upset and threw the terrible fox out of his house, but he was still a terrible orange color. So he went for a walk to try to sort out his muddled thoughts." She stopped as if to end the rather odd story.

"Now Alice do as your mother told you." Helen frowned. "And finish up all this nonsense." She paused and Alice was puzzled for a moment. "Perhaps if it began to rain milk from the cow that jumped over the moon and this turned Constantine's feathers a glistening white." She smiled again. And Alice grabbed for a muffin sitting on a plate in front of her.

"I think that would make him happy." Alice laughed at their silliness, and her mother's warm blue eyes smiled back at her daughter. But then her face grew serious.

"You are so full of joy for you age." She mused. "Yet you have so much responsibility with the Company…I'm glad they gave you time off, now that you have finished your apprenticeship."  
"Yes, well," Alice started, unsure of what to say at her mother's sudden change of subject right to what she was avoiding the most all morning, parents always seemed to do that . "actually Lord Ascot offered me part of the company…a rather large part." Alice looked to her mother for a reaction and guidance. She seemed not quite startled but she did have to make a decision, so she looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Well, I want you to know that I'm so proud of you my dear, and… if you plan on going away for another long while I won't be sad, as long as you know where you belong and are happy." She smiled weakly and Alice's heart twisted with regret at running away like this. But something in her mother's fleeting smile said that she had done all she needed to up here, and Alice knew she could never really fit up here. "You are nearly twenty-four, Alice; I know you can take responsibility for your own life." She reached out and stroked her daughter's face tenderly, "You _need_ to take responsibility for your life, darling."Alice in turn smiled and took her mother's hand.

"Trust me mother, I know where I'm going, and just know that, wherever I am…I'll love you, you will always be my mother." Alice pulled her mother close and hugger her tight, breathing in that soft motherly scent like cool cream that always lulled her to sleep and meant she was safe. "Take care of the Company and Lord Ascot for me?"

"Yes dear..." Helen said, her brows furrowing in puzzlement at the question but agreeing to it anyway. They pulled away from each other and Alice flashed a reassuring smile.

"When will the servant have breakfast ready?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, about an hour…" answered her mother. Alice rose slowly and looked down at her mother.

"I think I…I" She was never able say when she needed to leave.

"Why don't you go out for a walk in the garden, to think, it's a lovely morning." Helen said gesturing toward the misty window out to the dew painted landscape of green, white, light pink and soft yellow. "When you come back we'll have a nice cup of warm tea and some more muffins." She pointed to Alice's half eaten blueberry muffin on the fine table cloth.

"Yes." Was Alice's only reply, and she exited the side door into the crisp back garden, she knew she would not be coming back for tea.


	4. Chapter 4: Falling with Old Friends

**Chapter 4: Falling with Old Friends**

Loose strands of grass coiled around Alice's bear feet as she raced across the dewy, wet field toward the back woods. She really should have worn proper shoes, but she didn't care, she was only acres away from returning To Underland! She had waisted so much time! Flittering it away up here like she had no life to care for at all. Old doubt crept into her head...what if they..no, no don't go there! Alice put her mind back on the place she soon would be. That word that walks the fine line that holds both the love and innocence of the carefree child hood life ;and holds erie, horrible, dark, and lovely secrets and stores, and makes you see who you really are, and live up to it. Pure wonder! A bubble of electric excitement fluttered in her pumping chest and she tore on. Alice had worked this out completely, turning the plan over and over in her mind. There was a small forest between her land and the Ascot land just next to theirs. Once Alice reached the forest she would follow the path she had always played on as a child to the Ascot garden. She hoped it was early enough that no one would notice a strange messy haired blonde girl in her bed clothes, covered in grass and mud sneaking through the garden and back woods at 6:30 in the morning. Alice knew the way to the Rabbit Hole by heart; it was always playing over in her haunted dreams. She would find it.

Alice emerged from the forest with fronds of bracken and ferns threaded into her hair, and mud staining her white gown. Pulling away from the trees she ghosted between the rose bushes and mazes of shrubbery that made up the clipped garden on Ascot Manor. He mind reeled with memories of this place, of horrible garden parties, stuck up people casting strange glances at her as she danced the dreaded quadrille with Hamish…there it was, the gazebo! Now all she had to do was follow the shrub maze to-

"Who are you!" a female voice made Alice jump out of her wits. She whipped around to see a gardener, her knees dappled with dirt, holding some daisies in one hand, and brandishing a spade in the other.

"I-um, I was just sightseeing." She lied lamely. All she had to do was get away from the rattled gardener. But her mind was racing with other thoughts and she couldn't make anything up at all.

"What? In a private garden?" The gardener stepped forward and Alice backed away toward the shrubs.

"Yes, well it's just such a pretty arrangement you have here. I mean, look at all the roses…" Alice darted into the forest of plants and through the orchard, she didn't stop, until she saw a pair of familiar glowing blackish green eyes in the distance.

She slowed, her mind fuzzy with memories. The eyes grew closer then suddenly an entire shimmering black feline face materialized into place around them. Alice's heart leapt, all her doubts melted like lemon drops in a fire.

"Chess!" she half squealed, half whispered. The Cat's crooked smile flashed in front of her but he lokked confused as if he hadn't expected something. Alice couldn't contian her self, she ran forward to wrap her arms around his still materializing furry neck.

"Well, well I didn't know you missed me that much." His silky voice rolled off his purrs. Alice pulled herself away.

"N-no, I just miss Underland so much, and I need to explain and see the Hatter and…." She gasped, and painted, cluting at her chest. She had not realized how out of breath she was.

The Cheshire cat smiled from furry ear to furry ear. "You got the name right, that pesky Dormouse said you wouldn't even remember anything at all."

Alice had had jumbled memories of the place, but she did remember. Then she realized. " Um,…how exactly are you up her, and why?" Did every one down there still think she couldn't get through the House of Doors properly? She brushed it off.

"My dear," the Cat answered her question. "when you walk a cats way, you can end up almost anywhere." He smirked. By now his entire suave body was there hovering as if he were lying on some invisible wall. Alice was still confused as to why he was here.

And to answer it, Chessur pulled a small gold chain from around his neck and plopped it in Alice's dirt smeared palms. The dappled morning light reflected off its tiny, shining surface. "I know this; it's the key to the Tiny Door!" Alice's face lit up.

"Yes, yes, now let me lead you to where-"

"I _know _where to go, Chessur." Alice cut him short, he squinted his turquoise moon eyes at her for a moment.

"That was rather rude, but fine then, I'll just come along for the ride, and the company." The Cat lazily spun as he said this, but Alice was becoming more and more used to his mad behavior.

They both trotted along the woodsy orchard and the Cheshire Cat filled her in the goings ons of Underland. Obviously Mirana, the White Queen, had taken over command of the throne; all the Red Queen's captive had been set free long ago; the Hare, Dormouse, Cat, and Mad Hatter( Alice listened a bit more carefully here) had returned to their place in the White Queen's court as chef, guard, and hatter. But something was odd, Cheshire spoke as if editing it, like he didn't want to worry Alice with anything bad that was going on, or bubbleing up.

She ignored it.

A question deep in Alice's heart was burning to be asked, _How much dose he miss me? Have they cared how much time had passed? _She wanted to scream, but held it in, they were mostly just her mind running wild with worry. Alice would see her dear friend soon. The Cat was in the middle of explaining how much more beautiful the land had become, and about how he had found the most perfect spot to lie in to sun just to the Queast of the Tulgey Wood, when Alice spotted it, the large mossy, twisted tree stump on the crest of the hill that marked the Rabbit Hole.

"There it is!" She raced forward, her hair flying in the wind kicking up. The Cheshire Cat vanished in a cloud of black and neon blue green. Alice stopped and braced herself against the tree to peer down what looked to be an ordinary dirt crumbling rabbit hole. Alice nearly fell down as she jumped when the Cat appeared at her side, paws kneading the soft grass below.

"Well, you did manage to find it after all; you're not as dimwitted as the first time." She scowled down at him. "Only joking, luv." He tacked on smoothly. Alice didn't care, she was almost there! Her heart nearly flipped out of her chest with glee. The Cat floated up to her eye level.

"I'm going back…" She whispered, her eyes watering ever so slightly. His eyes looked hopefully into hers for a kind moment.

"Yes, you are, now get down there quickly, please, You,ve been gone for such a long ammount of time! I'm leaving, I do rather hate it up here." To Alice's surprise Chessur suddenly turned to what looked like powdered obsidian, and trickled down the Hole.

The girl, no, the young woman took one last look at the rolling country side she grew up on. She could just peer around the patch of forest to see her house; her heart ached momentarily for her dear mother, but she had to leave, and at least she had said good bye. The wind whimpered through the light green trees, and the sun blazed faintly above her, the morning wearing thin. All the memories of her father flashed in her mind's eye. Alice looked sky ward and blew one last kiss to her father, in a Wonderland of his own no doubt. Then she clipped the key chain around her neck, steadied her shaky breathing, and jumped.

She

Was

Falling

Down the Rabbit Hole.


	5. Chapter 5: How is a Hatter Like a Madman

_Yay, my first authors note! OK, not that exiting, well, anyway, things get more tense here as we see what had been happening to the Hatter now that Alice had been gone for so long._

**Chapter 5: How is a Hatter Like a Madman**

Slam!, Crash! A small stool clattered into a pile of manikins. A furious snapping of metal and fabric screeched through the cluttered hat room. Tarrant thrashed the useless pieces away and tried to compose himself. His eyes were still a rolling mad orange like a desperate fire, they were ringed in harsh black and blue around his lids.

The truly mad Hatter stormed across the dark room, the setting sun outside barely illuminating it fading gold and orange. He muttered curses and phases in Outlandish, and yelled and nothing in particular. In his frustraton he flung a pair of milliners sicssors into a mirror, cracks ran in all directions from the impact and shards of glittering broken glass littered the floor. He ran his trembling hands through his matted orange hair, and sat down on a still standing stool. No one bothered to come in any more, as long as he didn't do this too often and outside of his room, it was becoming routine in the last month for Underland's local lunatic to become sized with sudden rage and fury.

Why is she gone!, wailed the Hatter in his mind. Where could she be! He had gone on for so long thinking Alice would return home soon; that she hadn't forgotten, and life had gone on, a bit more sadly but, he had certainly managed fine with is other friends. But now it seemed that she would never be back. Why can't I forget as well? The Hatter wished desperately. He touched the smoky red jewel on the necklace in his pocket ever so slightly. He found the day after Alice left, just outside the tiny door she came through. His eyes slowly changed from terrible orange to watery green. Tarrant shook himself, he still had the Hare, Mirana, Mally, and even sometimes Chessur, and now the White Queen had been in power for almost three years now. He missed Alice furiously, these fits of heartbreak and rage were always sudden, much like with the death of his Clan, but Mallyumkin was saying they had lingering affect on him. "_Not quite yourself all the time Tarrant…are you all right Hatter…?"_ The dormouse would always say.

He was mad yes, but now, Tarrant feared, he was going insane.


	6. Chapter 6: Forgotten Alice

**I hope the story is picking up for all who read this. Alice is finally back, but is it just in time for the Hatter to give her up? **_Please review so I know I don't write too horribly. :)_

**Chapter 6: Forgotten Alice**

Her eyes swam in the sudden blinding darkness; her heart thudded in her chest, and zipped up her throat, stifling her scream of terror and excitement as the feeling of weightless falling filled Alice with ecstasy.

As her vision cleared she looked around, she was less frightened as she had _planned _to fall this time, bizarre and queer objects missiled at her from all directions, a large glass globe filled with fluttering jet black bats, a long silky scarf that changed color every few moments, and a strange panting of a boy on a broom zipping after a ridiculously tiny golden ball. The painting almost sliced her slender body in half.

Alice let her mind fog over as she let time and space bend, for at one moment she might be moving at the speed of light, unable to see her own blurry hand in front of her, the next she was able to count the iridescent scales on a large sleeping dragon on a regal, yet tattered plum colored couch that was hovering nearby.

Then, before she could even gasp, the floor careened into her at a speed that would shatter the silence of graves. A jolt of sickening pain rattled through her bones and nearly slammed Alice's eyes together.

Her stomach churned with the recent anti gravity and impact of the floor.

Alice stood up shakily, clutching her bubbling stomach and closed her eyes to steady herself. Her trembling hand instinctively touched the tiny golden key around her neck, as she looked around the dimly lit circular room. The House of Doors. Alice didn't really know how to make the potion and cake that made you shrink and grow, appear. How would she fit through the Tiny Door? She thought in alarm. Alice glanced around for the Cat to appear, but he never smoked into sight. She began to panic as she pulled away the scarlet curtain to reveal the Tiny Door, as ever tiny and maddening as before.

What had the White Queen called it? _Pish…pishammle?, no, no Pishalver! _That was it, Alice needed Pishalver.

She let out a muffled groan of annoyance at that ruddy unreliable Cheshire Cat.

Alice rubbed her hazel eyes.

And before she knew anything, it was sitting right in her lap! The small bottle of brownish, clear liquid with the classic _Drink Me _on the tag in simple script. Alice lapped up the foul liquid; it tasted like old mushrooms, rusty metal and moldy socks. But Alice drank it down. And soon she was dragging her dress through the Door and into her Wonderland.

The now bright and fresh Garden of Live Flowers loomed over Alice. Their stares were unpleasant as always, but the plants also looked surprised, doubting, quizzical, and a big bright yellow dandelion was actually smiling at her.

She walked up to it and found a glass case lined with gold containing an orange cake iced with white and the usual instructions. After Alice was her normal height she looked around for the first real time and almost sang with joy. Alice had finally returned to Underland! To the Mad Hatter, to the Queen, and the Hare, and the Cat! She felt practiclally giddy!

But as she thought for a flooding moment, all her doubts came rushing back like a pool of tears.

What if they'd forgotten her? Not really forgotten, just given up hope. She should never have stayed in the normal world so long! Three years? The haunted, pleading look of her dear Hatter's face after she drank the Jabberwocky blood had nearly driven _her_ mad with guilt at times. And the other friends she had left as well, her heart twined itself with rage at her decision. Why did I leave? Why did I leave? Alice moaned in her mind as tears threatened her eyes. They might never forgive me! Never!

But Alice shook herself clear off all her grievances, she was here wasn't she, and now she would have to face whatever welcome the residents of Underland gave her.

She marched farther into the flowers toward the gleaming white castle in the distance. Hoping desperately that Chessur had spread the news of her arrival to forgiving ears.

**........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

His lids were stained a dark violet with streaks and heartbroken red. His twin emeralds were a smoky, sapphire tinged with distant memories and thoughts. His entire outfit was a mournful mixture of rain cloud gray splashed on corpse blue.

The Mad Hatter slumped in his gleaming silver seat and stared at nothing.

I nudged him with a soup spoon.

"Hatter?" I squeaked.

The Hatter shook himself and looked at me as if everything were normal.

"I'm fine." he croaked, and began to busy himself by ladling more Grum-gravy on his half eaten potatoes.

I knew he was lying through his tea stained teeth. The Hatter glanced around the snowy room, now a soft candle light cream from intricate tree like chandelier hanging a hundred feet above the dinner guests heads. He refused to look at my glaring furry face.

"Hatter!" I hissed at him.

"Hmm!" He looked down at me as if he were surprised. "What is it Mally?"

"You're quiet tonight, and you and I both know you are _never _quiet, especially on a day like this." I pressed on, he clearly was having his usual after-fit mulling around and moping around. I continued. "It's the Frabjus Day ceremony! You of all people should be happy about the redemption of your Clan and the death of that bloody Jabberwock."

Everyone else at the Mirana's feast seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was always able to, not waiting for that Alice to come back. And now after three long years every other creature, along with my friends, had got it through their heads.

Alice was not coming back.

I tried to put it kindly to him, for fear of his feeling and that fact that the recently volatile Hatter might go berserk.

"S-she isn't coming back, Tarrant…you have to admit that." I whispered to him.

He stared me down hard, but I saw in his eyes; he was trying fiercely to hide and deny it but he was beginning to believe it as well.

"She just needs more time, Alice belongs here, and she promised…size...fez...muchness? " His voice trailed off into a question, and his tone confirmed my thoughts.

I stoked his hand with a furry paw, and he looked grateful at me for a fleeting moment.

"You still have your friends here." I said and he nodded gently with acknowledgment and understanding. His outfit puffed up a bit and his bowtie brightened up a tiny amount. But he still had a faint longing in his eyes.

I heard the Queens distant laugh, not completely whole hearted, and saw Thackery tossing clean bowls and spoons to guests bit too safely. The Cat hadn't even showed up to the dinner.

Had the memory of Alice finally died.


	7. Chapter 7:Regret What has been Forgotten

**Chapter 7: Regret What has been Forgotten**

"_You could stay?"_

"_What an idea, a crazy, mad, wonderful, idea. But I can't. There are questions I have to answer, Things I have to do. Be back again before you know it."_

"_You won't remember me." _

"_Of course I will!" How could I forget?...Hatter…why is a raven like a writing desk?"_

"_I haven't the slightest idea…Fairfarren, Alice."_

The scene had been playing over and over in Alice's head the entire way to Mamoreal. "_Be back again before you know it." _She was wrenching away over those words, her promise. They had definitely all pushed her away, numbed themselves to her presence…Tarrant's face stung most of all, like sand in a fresh wound, grinding away until it just hurts so much you scream for a way out…

She painfully swallowed the lump in her throat and kept walking, still unable to imagine what would happen.

She could see the kind, beautiful, White Queen's eyes that had always brought her safety and relief that not all was lost. They would be teary with regret, but stone to her coming back, accepting that she no longer cared, and maybe she would be so kind as to actually help Alice back into the normal world. Where she could live in a life she did not belong to.

And the Tweedels would be running from her, not wanting to get attached or scare her off. Their big round faces would be contorted in distrust and fear, the way they had with the Red Queen.

Absolems disappointed, but deserving scowl…

Alice could hardly bear to think of her Hatter. She tried with all her might to force back her wild imagination, but the images crept into her tiered mind.

He would not be sad, but maybe distrustful, betrayed, amused, angry, or observing.

His bright green emeralds looking her over… his face reliving all his tortured memories!

Stop it! Alice rebuked herself. She didn't even know what had been going on with the Mad Hatter, if only the Cheshire Cat had told her more, but then again he had seemed faintly interested in her.

Alice stopped herself when the silver moonlight glinted off the alabaster, marble chess castle in front of her. It was crested on rolling green hills, stained a dark pine by the inky night; beautiful white, pink and soft blue roses adorned the fringes of the courtyard, and spun around bright pink cherry trees that were shedding their blossoms like strawberry snow.

All so beautiful, so wonderful, if she was ever welcome.

The happy and carefree memories of this place filled her mind and she choked back the building anxiety, and sorrow. Tears threatened to roll down her face.

"Handkerchief?" a seductive voice offered the trembling girl.

Alice dried her moistening eyes and looked for who had spoken to her. Her eyes scanned the twisting ink black and sea blue forest around her, but there was no one.

A sharp tap on her shoulder made her gasp!

Alice whipped around, her tangled hair flying, to see none other than the Cat himself, sheathing his claws and holding out a silver embroidered cloth. He was looking at her with a slightly hopeful expression over his usual bored one.

Alice wanted to pour everything out, to apologize a million times, ask a thousand questions, and simply run the other direction, all at once.

"I'm late…" Was all she heard croak out of her trembling, dry mouth.

"Oh yes, quite." said Chessur flicking his eyes in the direction of the busy, lit up castle.

"You…d-don't think I was gone too long?" Alice had to ask someone.

"What…oh, the concern on whether you are here on not is none of mine. I never get involved in politics, remember?" He said simply, but not unkindly.

Alice didn't know what to say, Chess and her had been never been close friends but she was hopelessly glad he didn't despise her.

Cheshire disappeared suddenly, and Alice was stabbed with a pang of worry that he wouldn't return, but he smoothly ghosted into place next to her right shoulder.

He examined Alice with neon feline eyes for a long, tense moment.

"You all right, luv?'

"What about the others? What have they been saying about me?" she whispered these word desperately and knew it sounded stupid, and foolish.

"I haven't seen any of them for a good long three months, I got quite bored of being coped up in than white palace, but, last I saw them, they all seemed fine…" he trailed off and looked as if he might disappear for good.

Alice couldn't handle it any more.

"What about the Hatter!" She didn't expect her voice to be so loud and desperate.

The Cheshire Cat backed away an inch and his furry face turned to surprise.

"They were beginning to say you wouldn't remember at all…" The Cat mumbled.

"What! Of course I remember, I remember it all, everything! T-the White Rabbit, the Caterpillar, the Bandersnach, the Knave capturing the Hatter, the Jabberwocky, the Vorpal Sword, the battle, the Frabjus Day…everything! And I just wish I hadn't waisted so much time in the normal wolrd. I-just...I-I don't hardly know..." Her voice beagan to shake. She had exasperated herself, she had just needed to explain!

And now she had, and then the tears began to fall…

Not a cascade, but just a few warm, solitary tears dripped down Alice's pretty face and gleamed like silver droplets in the moon light.

The Cat looked a bit awkward, but worried at the same time and offered her the handkerchief, which Alice gratefully accepted, and swiped her face with it.

He curled on her shoulder, and began to explain.

"From what I my furry ears picked up, the Hatter was mopey for a while after you left, but he wasn't heartbroken, as he belived so strongly you would be back soon," Alice's heart did a flip."He was different though, anyone could tell. It seemed there was a part of him…just…missing." Alice wondered about herself, as time had passed in the normal world, her need to be in Underland seemed to have faded. Had Alice left part of herself down here as well?

The Cat continued, and Alice listened with a guilty, rapt silence.

"But more recently, just before I left, he stopped making hats as often, was always…not sad just, quiet, and sometimes he would just go…go crazy, berserk, he thought you were never coming back and that seemed to drive the Hatter over the edge. What a lunatic! I couldn't take any more of these ravings, so, I left." He meowed simply.

Alice just stared into the darkness, unable to speak. The Hatter had forgotten her! And all the rest as well. She was tearing apart with sorrow, and regret.

"Why did you come back?" Chess asked softly.

"What, because I promised!" Alice bellowed in anger. "I promised, I had to come back, and I-I belong here!" she was crying again and the cat was wiping away her silver tears with the fancy cloth.

"You are really worried about this aren't you?" he meowed softly. Alice locked his gleaming gaze with her hazel one and communicated all her worries and dreams and sorrows over the past three years silently.

"Alright, c'mon you need to see the Queen-"

"No, they don't care about silly old Alice now. Don't you see? I've just been gone for too long…" She turned as if to leave but to wher she did not know.

"Stop that!" It was the first time Alice had ever heard the Cheshire Cat raise his soft purring voice to anger.

He was quiet again. "How can Underland forget Alice? Or maybe you have just forgotten how to wonder." She wiped her eyes and stared at him in disbelief. He looked back at her sternly, almost like her mother…

Chess appeared behind Alice and pushed her from behind onto the castle grounds. She was too numb with exhaustion, and emotion to resist as she was wheeled through towering, beautiful doors into a marry, calm dinner feast she was not invited to.

**...**

If you are still reading this then you deserve a great big hug from Captain Jack, I just hope this isn't draging on on too long, but it's almost to the end, so if you like, please say so, and if a pirate shows up at your door trying to hug you, it's not my fault.

-Avril Stayne


	8. Chapter 8: Uninvited

**Chpater 8: Uninvited **

Alice held her trembling breath as the giant ivory doors swung open with a small whoosh of delicious air. Candlelight from the beautifully, tangled white tree branch chandelier danced off the shinning round walls of the feast room making it looked so soft and inviting. The long carved wood tables were lined with empty dishes and ones still being filled by the hungrier guests, all kinds of food Alice had never seen in her life; the remains of a giant green pig suckling an apple amongst a decorating array of greens and flowers on a golden platter, half empty cups held bubbly blue liquid with melting purple ice cubes, and many other extravagant fruits and vegetables adorned forgotten plates that lay buried around silver candleholders and fine cloths as napkins.

It appeared that this had meant to be an elegant dinner party, but in the mad ways of Underland it had become a full blown celebration that had left the feast after most of the food had been consumed, and the guests had moved to mill around merrily and a bit drunkenly, or dance and clap to the bouncy fiddle music that filled the hall. Conversation buzzed in the late party atmosphere; colorful people and strange animals laughed and swung around the beat of the Irish-like waltz music.

Alice felt quite out of place.

As the doors clapped against the wall and white and purple banners wafted in the gust of air, every single eye turned to look quizzically at Alice and the Cheshire Cat. The music and merry conversation stopped and the hall echoed with the sudden void of sound.

The Cat looked awkward, something he rarely did, as he had not really been seen with this company for a long time, he put on a weak grin as his enchanting eyes shifted over the confused faces of his friends.

Alice realized for the first time what she looked like. Her wild mane of blonde gold was ruffled and tangled with twigs and leaves, she was still wearing her bed gown, which was tattered and dappled with mud, her face was pale and dirt smeared and her eyes were red and set in dark tired lids, her bare feet were cold and wet against the cool marble floor.

She self consciously smoothed down her dress and hair to no avail. Then to Alice's relief the White Queen gracefully glided foreword out of the crowd, but her beautiful pale face was ruined by a look of confusion, worry, and distrust.

"Well Cheshire, you finally decided to show up again." She spoke to the Cat with a small note of distain.

"Yes, your Majesty, I simply just need to get away for bit,…see some other places." He purred smoothly. The Queen squinted at him dubiously, but she seemed to accept the answer. But then her gaze finally moved to Alice. Her insides burned with anxiety under all the eyes peering at her in the tense silence.

"And I see you have company." Her elegant brown eyes examined Alice for her expression. Alice wanted to scream how sorry she was and that she remembered everything, but her voice was lost, replaced by her heart throbbing in her throat.

The Queen came forward carefully. And Alice just couldn't look her in the eyes, afraid of what she might find there. Instead her gaze flashed around the room for a familiar white, mad face. Alice saw the Tweedels staring at her with pure puzzlement in the round faces, the Hare was twitching in the corner by the clean dishes and wringing his long scruffy ears together. McTwisp was putting a white paw on a chair to steady himself from fainting, and muttering something inaudible to the Dormouse and checking his pocket watch, the Mallyumkin nodded and glared at Alice sadly. Not the running and hugging welcome she had vainly hoped for.

"My dear…how did you get here?" The White Queen asked softly. They truly believed that Alice did not have the slightest inkling as to where she was and who they were.

"I-I fell…down…the Rabbit Hole." Alice's voice squeaked out.

"Well, dear, do you by any chance remember being here before?" Every single heart was beating faster with anticipation and every lung was still with holding in breath.

"Yes, I'm Alice, and…and…I know all of you." The Cat vanished from her side and repapered in the crowd, actually looking encouraging. Everyone else was taken aback. Somewhere in the throng Alice could hear Bayard's whimper.

She continued. "I know you, the White Queen, and he's the Cheshire Cat, and-and you are the White Rabbit, and that's the March Hare, and-and…" Alice choked back a little sob. "And where is the Mad Hatter?" She squeaked, then stopped speaking, not trusting her voice anymore. She wanted so badly just to run into the Queen's motherly arms and say she was sorry to everyone.

But she couldn't.

"Oh, A-Alice, you-you do remember, you really know who I am?" Mirana came forward a bit more and fearfully stroked Alice's tear stained cheek.

"Yes!" Yes, I do!" She couldn't hold it in anymore! Alice darted forward and flung her arms around Mirana, and sobbed into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so, so sorry…" She whimpered, and the White queen finally wrapped her arms around Alice. Every creature in the hall came forward and patted or stoked Alice in some kind gesture. For a moment all her doubts were gone again, but she still could feel the apprehension, like they were expecting her to just up and leave again the next morning.

The White Rabbit shook her muddy hand vigorously with a trembling white paw, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were on each other's shoulders smiling at her and waving happily. And Alice could feel Bayard's wet snout nudging her hand. The Hare's cry of her name bellowed through the room.

Alice almost smiled.

"Where is the Hatter?" She repeated as Mirana dried her face. The Queen bit her lip and looked anywhere but at Alice.

"He, um, he left early, he didn't really feel like celebrating tonight…" She said weakly.

_But it's the Frabjus Day! How could the Mad Hatter not want to celebrate? _Thought Alice in alarm, what had she done to him!

"I need to see him." Said Alice as the Queen finished wiping her face.

The White Queen sighed.

"Are you absolutely positive that you will stay with us? And that you truly remember what a friend, and how protective he was over you?" Mirana looked a bit sorry for asking such a question, but Alice couldn't find in her heart to be angry or hurt.

"Yes, I can never forget him…" She couldn't say any more.

"I don't quite know what will happen… you've just…for so long" , mumbled the Queen almost as if she was thinking out loud.

Alice's heart was stung with worry and guilt. …_sometimes he would just go…go crazy, berserk, he thought you were never coming back and that seemed to drive the Hatter over the edge._ The Cat's words came floating back to her.

"Please, I promised this to him and I-I have to keep it." She felt fear creep up on her unexpectedly.

The Queen thought for a moment then leaned down gracefully to mutter something to the White Rabbit.

"Go find Tarrant, and just… prepare him." Was all Alice could make out.

The White Queen took Alice's hand and led her to a winding staircase near the end of the hall.

Just as they slipped up the stairs, Alice glanced back at, hopefully, her friends. They all wore expressions of worry, sadness and a knowing disaster.

They all seemed to know how the Hatter would truly react to his old friend coming back. And it didn't appear good.


	9. Chapter 9: Belive Your Mad Eyes

**Chapter 9: Belive Your Mad Eyes**

Whirring and snipping, tearing and sewing , the tinkling of tiny sparkling beads being run around experienced hands; all the sounds of a rather content hatter were sifting their way through the ornate, wood carved, midnight blue doors.

Alice felt filthy at the fact that she had much rather wished he was a moody, desperate, mess, so she would know her still cared for her. Not happily humming as he fashioned hats.

She was surprised she could hear anything over the thundering of her strangled heart. But then again all time seemed to have slowed for the past few moments she was being led by the elegant, flowing Queen up the winding stair case to the Hat Room.

Her mind replayed the images of her dreams, his pale white face, though not at all devoid of color, beaming down on her. Splashes of blue and green, and sometimes orange, laced his wide eyelids, soft and sharp shadows of smoky violet careening around his angular cheek bones, his vivid twists and masks of his features betrayed his obvious mood. His slightly tea stained teeth were almost always flashing in a brilliant smile of ecstasy whenever he saw Alice. Or rather, _had seen. _The eclectic orange frizz of hair that seemed like another personality all its own, was very vivid. And the tattered and bedraggled top hat that adorned his head. It was beautiful despite its ruddy appearance, so much memory and loss, love, trust and sorrow put into those elegant feathery hat pins and milky magenta scarf that whirled with the Hatter's every smooth or jerking move.

Alice was startled out of her day dream by the rapping of Marina's slender, pale knuckles on the door. There was a steady _trump, trump, trump _like a pillow was bouncing toward the door. But it was no pillow; it was nervous and frazzled looking McTwisp, peeking out from behind the door, whose big pink eyes were darting around to look at Alice. The expression on his furry white face was almost impossible to read, save for the blatant look of worry. But that was common for the punctual Rabbit.

"Y-you Majesty, I beg your pardon but, I don't know what he will think when he sees her." His timorous voice spilled out. He twiddled his paws and in a more hushed voice he said into the White Queen's lowered ear: "He held out the longest believing, but I think we all know he came to that conclusion…"

Alice couldn't listen any longer; the sand in her fresh wound was getting coarser, and thicker, grinding deeper.

"McTwisp, I know that Tarrant can handle seeing his old friend again." The Queen said kindly.

"B-but he just laug -"

The Queen silenced the White Rabbit with a soft 'shh' and pressed an index finger to his trembling lips. He then looked up at Alice, took her dirty hand in his velveteen paw and examined it closely for a fleeting moment. Then said: "I wish you luck, champion.", and hopped off.

And before she knew anything Alice was being gently wheeled by the shoulders into the lovely Hat Room.

It was dark except for one corner where a spindly desk lamp cast relaxing reddish light on the milliners work. His gloved and bandaged hands were deftly twining a pluming sky blue and black feather into the fibers of a silver and cream hat.

Alice's nightmares had not paid him homage, his colorful, expressive face was so blissfully intent on his much loved trade, those eyes the richest green, the fields of Eden would have appeared pale and sun burnt. His outlandish outfit was puffed up in happiness, his burgundy jacket was off and he was comfortably brandishing only pinstriped pants, a blue shirt and trinket littered vest.

She gasped very quietly, pressed her hand to her thudding chest, and stopped in her tracks.

Her best, kindest, most trusted, understanding, and protective friend was right in front of her for the first time in years, and Alice knew by the blank, unexcited expression he tossed her and the Queen that she had broken his heart.

For the lighting flash millisecond that his gaze locked with Alice's, the Hatter's eyes went the shade of his jacket and his bright blue sleeves seemed to get anxiously brighter. He looked impossibly hopeful for that same moment, until his expression changed to that of second guessing and then dismissing a silly thought.

"Hello.", sang the Queen awkwardly clasping her hands together. "Um, s-she, someone has come to the castle… and I thought you'd like to see her." By the manner in which the White Queen spoke to the Mad Hatter like a child Alice wondered what kind of mental state he was in.

"Oh!" The Hatter piped up, his voice was so unfamiliar to Alice's ears.

He tucked the needle and thread that had been in his hand into the sash of spools slinking across his torso. Then blinked at Alice, rubbed his tired looking eyes, and squinted as if confused or disgusted.

Alice was almost shaking with confusion and raw emotion, but she held it in, she just had to know what he was thinking about that made him look at her that alien, distanced way.

"This would be her…" introduced the Queen, who simultaneously clutched Alice's elbow for support.

The Mad Hatter folded his hands behind his back and strode forward. He peered into Alice's hazel eyes, cocked his head this way and that, and then pressed his face close to hers, their noses almost touching in the soft small light of the room.

His arm shot out and he shook her hand fervently. "Well, I see you've found your way to Underland! I hope you have enjoyed all the wonderful and dangerous things you have seen! Don't mind that pesky Cat if her bothers you, oh, and would you possibly be investigating things that begin with the letter 'M'?: melancholy, misunderstand, missing…"

"Hatter!" The White Queen stopped him in mid-rant.

His face went from lit up and earnest, to closing his eyes and shaking himself as if to get a grip again. He was muttering something about being fine.

They shot open again."Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?...And what might your name be? You look familiar…but then again, anyone who has long blonde hair's image is all muddled and mixed up in my mind now…"

The Hatter let go of her hand slowly and his drifted absently to his side. Mirana looked terribly dismayed and her arms flew to Alice's quivering shoulders.

Alice finally dug out her voice. "Hatter, you know me, I'm Alice."

The tense silence almost shattered the broken pieces of glass that lay the floor below a recently ruined mirror.

The Hatter squinted as if all his questions had been answered. Then looked down his nose at Alice, and back at Mirana like this was all a joke.

"You might want to examine my mind again Mirana." He whispered, then turned and walked pressing his hand to his forehead feverishly, and muttering something bout finally going 'round the bend.

"I think he's just…confused, or in shock, dear." The Queen tried to sooth Alice, but the consoling never reached her thundering ears.

Alice stumbled forward and pulled the Hatter around by his shoulders.

"Tarrant, listen to me, I am Alice! I've come back, and I remember everything!" her voice faltered in the next string of words. "I-I'm sorry for leaving you behind for so long, I just, just forgot how to wonder and how badly I needed this place…" Alice raised her hand to touch his face, and he looked as if he wanted to trust his crazed eyes so desperately for a moment, before he gripped her wrist tightly and jerked her away.

"No!" his horse guttural voice bellowed out, no doubt that every tense, waiting creature in the hall below could hear his ranting voice.

"Ei always knew tha' I was bit craz'd, but nev'r enouh to start up an' seein things!" His words were lost in accent and Alice's numb ears. "I really am gallymoggers, now ain't Ei!" He garbled, pressing his thumb and forefinger to his closed lids.

"No! no you are not…whatever that is, Hatter, please, it's me!" Alice could see him getting angry and vehement, his eyes flashing every horrible shade of orange there could be. He looked a bit embarrassed at the White Queen witnessing another one of his 'fits', but didn't seem to care. Mirana stood rock solid, her arms hugging herself silently, she flinched every time the Hatter spoke, she obviously realized that if Alice couldn't convince him, then she would not come close.

"Stop it now! Yoo think I do't know a hallucination when I sees one?" The Mad Hatter's voice became more warning and his accent thinned. "You can do whatever you want; always talk to me, never speak, just linger and haunt me, anything, but I know you are not Alice!"

Her eyes were almost swimming in the tears about to flood over. He thought he was imagining her! The cold irony almost made her laugh.

"And even if you were…she has forgotten all about me by now, so she won't be in danger of coming back to a raving lunatic. A-Alice is up in her little world, all grown up and happy." His voice shook momentarily, but the Mad Hatter regained his emotional wall, and was bearing down on Alice's pleading outstretched arms.

"Please, I'm real, I promised to come ba-"Alice's quiet plea was drowned out by his last attempt at what he thought was not losing his mind.

"Get away you mad whelp of insanity! Lave a hatter to his hats!" The face Alice had been imagining only minutes before was contorted in despair, loss, and anger. What she had done to her truest friend broke her young beautiful heart, just like the mirror, and she felt as if she would be sick with regret as the boring sand finally drilled through the wound and tore her body in two.

Alice backed shakily past the weeping Queen, to lean against the door frame for support. She mumbled through the tangled strands of golden hair as the first of many tears began to drip quietly down her face.

"I'm sorry." Was all the girl said and then she flew out of the room to nowhere in particular.

**...........................................................................................................................................................................**

Tarrant ripped the old necklace from its pocket in his jacket that was slung across a chair. His heart was thudding with anger and frustration. He finally gives her up and his sick mind just torments him more! The memory of his old beloved friend had been so vivid that the Hatter had almost accepted it. But she could not be back; he had already pushed her away.

His orange eyes died down to a more golden streaked blue when he saw Alice's sparrow necklace in his trembling palm.

He had promised to give it back to her…but he felt as if it only hurt more to hope.

He stepped toward the window and opened it to the warm breezy night air, it felt soothing on his warm body. Tarrant could hear the soft babbling stream that meandered about twenty yards from his window. Then he looked to see Mirana fleeing the room, he still felt terrible for exploding in his newly developed schizophrenia in front of her, the Queen seemed upset. But he was fuming and couldn't apologize now.

He gripped the jewel of the necklace for one last tender moment, then threw in into the distance, not looking back to see the golden chain catch on a yellow and green Tulgey Maple tree, and flutter down into the stream below.

**....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

**O**K, I know that chapter was pretty intense,but I couln't just have "Oh, hi Alice, where have you been, I've certanly missed you." then they hug and live hapilly ever after. The next one won't be as sad, so keep your hopes up. Sorry for it being so long! If it is please say so. Thanx to all who have read this far you certany do Rock!


	10. Chapter 10: Sparrows Brought On Leaves

**Chapter10 Sparrows Brought on Leaves:**

She wasn't sobbing, or wailing in despair, or repeating over and over while shaking uncontrollably. She just sat on a grassy bank, thinking, her delicate silver tears painting her face the shade of moonlight again and again. The warm wind rattled in-between, and through the pink sails on the cherry trees, that lined the small burbling stream lacing through them.

Alice didn't know if anyone had followed her, she had just tore blindly around corridors and hallways out into some beautiful garden, but the fact that it had been about half an hour and nothing had happened she just sat and thought, cried, and wished.

The garden was a small circular courtyard of light blue and stone gray tiles spiraling inward to a white cherry tree. Surrounding were pink flowered trees and soft thick grass. Alice sat on the crest of the bank just a few feet from the edge of the cobble stone.

Now that her mind was able to go over what had just happened Alice knew that the Hatter had completely given up on her if he thought the only way to explain her was to think his fried mind was plying cruel ticks on him. Her heart felt like it had been torn from all the bone, binding and sinew and now lay somewhere in a dry, famined desert a million miles from her empty chest.

She wiped her eyes.

And then something caught in them, in the stream below was a tattered and soaking maple leaf, though it had an odd coloring. It was just barely afloat as if something were dragging it down to the dark crystal depths of the creek.

That something was sparkling under the rippling surface.

Alice ignored her aching and stiff body, and slipped down the slope to the edge of the creek. She leaned in to get a better look. She could just see a gold chain twisted around the coal black stem. Wading up to her muddy ankles Alice plucked the thing from the pulling current.

As she pulled it into view, Alice saw the water droplets gleaming red as the dripped off the smoky crimson jewel, and the golden sparrow flashed its forever in flight wings at her.

A memory came.

A memory of her, barely out of her teen years, sitting a dismal black cart with her stern looking mother prodding her hair and corsestless torso.

Alice snapped at her.

Her mother looked solemn and frustrated.

Alice apologized and explained.

Her mother unlatched the necklace from her own neck and clipped it around Alice's. Making her look truly lovely.

Her heart longed for her mother, and Alice held the cold stone to her heart. She also wondered how it had gotten here, and why it was even in Underland. She figured it must have come off in the House of Doors with all the shrinking and growing long ago. But how the piece of jewelry was in this particular stream she would probably never know.

Alice was startled out of her memory by the tapping of claws on the stones behind her. She hastily wiped her eyes for no real reason, and clipped her mother's necklace around her neck.

She turned to see the loyal blood hound, his brown and black furred face was drooping solemnly, his ears flopping about his head. Alice noticed he no longer wore the spiked prison collar, but a strong white, gleaming chain bounced on his neck.

"Bayard?" cracked out her voice, sick with crying, Bayard's big marrion eyes looked toward her kindly, as he totted over to sit next to Alice, and drove his head under her arm, and whined.

She ruffled his ears as his head turned to her.

"Her Majesty has requested me to find you. , the dog's deep, moutainy voice garbled in her numb ears.

"Why, I'm not just going to up and leave like everyone thinks." Alice snorted, her voice shaking with angst and self loathing. She tore up a bit of thick grass and toyed with it.

Bayard grunted musingly.

"No one thinks that, Mirana just wants you in a warm bed tonight. Amongst friends." The dog added.

That last simple sentence ripped down Alice's wall she had spent the last lonely half hour building.

Her chapped lower lip trembled and new tears began to well up. Alice flung her fatigued arms around Bayard's neck.

"Oh, Bayard please tell you don't all just…hate me?"

She sounded pathetic as she sobbed into his pine smoke scented fur.

The hound whined again and licked away tears from her dirty face.

"No, we are just getting used to having our champion back. Now, come Alice, sitting on a bank in the cold night is a dog's job." He gave her face one more soft lick, and Alice twined her fingers into his ivory collar all the way back up to the castle.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

For all that had happened today it took every ounce of Alice's will power not to pass out as the warm bubbly water lifted the dirt and sweat from her skin, and lulled her wrenched mind for a few infinite minuets.

She lay in a dark bronze tub filled with crystal clear, strangely fizzy water. The whole small room had the same earthly tones as the African planes, with splashes of black and dark wood brown in the furniture and linen.

Alice rubbed her eyes and could almost pretend she was back in her house, with her mother humming downstairs over a cup o f hot tea.

But she was rocked back in to this complex and wonderful world by Bielle, Bayard's wife, as she pushed backward through the door into the room. Candlelight glinted off her silky golden coat, as she carried a fold of cream and black embroidered fabric in her jaws.

She set the layer of cloth on the mat near the tub and Alice reached out a dripping, clean hand to give her face a thankful stroke.

Bielle whined quietly, "You need anything else, dearie?"

Alice shook her head mutely, her chin making ripples in the sparkling water.

She was about to turn and leave when the she-hound turned to gaze at Alice with soft blue eyes.

"I-I was never really able to thank you properly for saving my pups and I. And I know it might be late but—" she whispered the last part, "--thank you."

Alice nodded.

And then Bielle was gone.

The cloth was a dress, a perfect fit in fact softly aligned to the majestic curves of her body. It hung juts at her knees and dipped further down in the back. It was the color of kitten's milk, with curling black strokes of thread around the edges. And as Alice turned in the mirror tiny sparks glittered off the fabric.

She looked at her form in the mirror, a young woman, damp golden locks wildly spiking out, but not tangled like before. Soft crimson stone and tiny golden key hung above her chest.

But her eyes, normally golden hazel, were like an old dusty nut swimming in sickly reddish milk. Murky with sadness and the numbness she had set her body into the stop from screaming.

The only thing that kept her mind clear was her family her in Underland.

But his words still stung.

His terror still burned.

His heart still ached.

Alice scrubbed the dark circles around her eyes from any more tears.

Then stumbled out the door after Bielle, but only found herself collapsed on the huge puffy bed in the next room over.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Tarrant, you bloody stupid lunatic!" another potion bottle hit the marble wall, and the Hatter ducked just in time to avoid being turned into a ten foot tall blue squirrel that wore dainty white gloves.

Mirana had never been this angry, and it took all of her control to not show it and act like the proper Queen she was supposed to be. But now that is was just her and Tarrant…

"I only just came down to apologize! Why, do you think I'm happy I lost my mind again while you were there?" He didn't understand why she had been so torn up about that, as to sob for a good half an hour.

He had come to her Kitchen to explain and this was the first thing she had said to him all night.

"Lost your—what! You still think that, please Tarrant Alice is really back!" she half heartedly chucked a thick green spell book at his head.

"Don't say that filthy name!" The Hatter covered his ears, and briefly wondered how far his mind would dog to torment him.

"No, I love that girl like a daughter, and you—you just deny her? How sick can you be?" She was quiet now, her hand trembling as she held a wooden mixing spoon. Tarrant didn't know what to do and his orange brows knit together in hasty thought, Alice really, really back…

"And you had to go and break that beautiful girl's heart! You stupid, slurvish milliner!" Now she did hurl the spoon at him.

But it bounced off his shoulder and clattered to the floor.

"But—but…you just don't know what it's like." He squeaked. "Just…whit me Clan I knew thay wer ne'er comin' back…and Alice, I never knew. Doomed to 'ope on the hopeless ting." The Hatter finally confessed after months and months of mental decay.

Mirana wiped her beautiful face and breathed shakily as she pulled a stray lock of snowy hair behind her ear.

"I missed her too, and there were times when…I almost forgot and gave up." He voice was soft and light, but dark with regret.

The Hatters thumbs twisted and his body flinched, as if coming to a paradox.

"S-she is really in Underland…?" he dared to acknowledge it.

The White Queen stepped toward the Mad Hatter and griped his jerking shoulders, and stared him square in the mad eyes.

"Yes,-yes please believe me!" Mirana looked just on the verge of glee.

"How come the Oraculum never showed us her return?" He still didn't want to give in, but he did so badly.

She shook him. "Hatter, you forgot, it left with Absolem. No one has seen it in almost four years." Everyone had known that.

"Oh, yes." his mind buzzed with loss and blocked out memory.

"You have to believe me, us, Alice is real and she cared about you."

"Who said?" he appeared to be answering in short sentences now.

"Cheshire, he was talking with Alice before she got to the castle." Tarrant found himself enraged at this, but for once held it in.

His lips formed jerky words but now sound came out.

"Please!" The Queen sobbed.

"A-Alice…has…retuned…" his voice was barely audible as his world became centered for the first time in a long time.

"Yes, yes, oh dear, yes!" The Hatter gripped Mirana's thin shoulders as well to stop her joyful quaking.

"Where, I have to know for certain?" His breath was coming in short gasps, he just had to know, he was almost about to trust his eyes.

"B-bed room." The Queen seemed to remember backwards.

Tarrant looked at her for a doubting moment before insanity drove him out of the kitchen and flying down the regal halls to the room.

All was silent in the late night hours, save for his labored breathing, which was only just beginning to slow. He was about to give into his crazed mind, and did he really care?

The Hatter reached slowly for the golden knob, and turned it, listening to the well oiled cogs and gears springing into duty.

His heart nearly stopped as he saw the long wavy blond hair sprawled across the pillow, the soft smooth face, and agonized hazel eyes dripping with tears.

_Alice. _Was the one clear thought in his mind.

**......................................................................................................................................................................................**

**I**'m sorry for not updating as often, but between end of school moutains of work, drama practice and youth group, all I do is school, write, and maybey sleep. So sorry for keepoing you guys waiting! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11: Fairfarren

**Chapter 11: Fairfarren**

The silver and white comforters puffed and inflated as his weight slumped onto the bed next to a sleeping, and tear stained Alice.

Her mind was fogged over with sleep and as Alice's dark, shadowy lids crept open she had absolutely no idea where she was. Dark silver light filtered into the lacy midnight blue room though laced curtains, and seemd to bathe the lavish bed room with navy blue silk..

The Hatter's heart tremored with terror and excitement, as she stirred softly.

"Daddy…" She her soft lips formed the word.

A breathy cracking sound came from the milliner as he tested her name on his vocal chords. "A-Alice?" His entire outfit was every anxious, neon shade possible.

"I had the dream again…but it was much worse." She grimaced slightly, and her hands made soft fists in the puffy sheets.

What dream? The Hatter imagining something about Alice he didn't know was odd. Alice sat up and her blonde curls were pulled up to hang loosely on her partly bare back. Tarrant noticed, over his racing thoughts, how beautiful she looked in the simple cream dress.

Alice rubbed her drowsy face and then stared at him wide eyed, with upmost horror and dread.

"No, no, no, go away! I'm sorry! You can't be, no…" She hustled backwards to thump loudly on the dark chocolate brown head board, and shewed at the Hatter with a trembeling white hand. She buried her face in her palms as if she thought the very image of her face would hurt him.

And it did, but he didn't care anymore.

"Stop." He motioned to touch her but drew back when he saw her trembling.

She seemed so real…

Then she finally looked at him through tendril of fine clean hair. "Please tell me you trust your eyes." She whimpered, and Tarrant's eyes began to water, his almost tears looked like mint flavored tea.

He didn't' want to think at all anymore, just slip into to a null existence.

But he uncontrollably reached forward just to see if his hand would faze through, but it didn't, his finger tips came to rest, just pricking Alice's temple.

She stopped her noise, and blinked at him with a torrent of emotions in the void silence. Her wet mouth formed words and gibberish but no sound came out, just the darting of her eyes back and forth as she couldn't tell what would happen to her heart.

He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. Then he felt her palm just graze his knuckles as she gasped.

Then he saw it and the truth finally came to his mangled mind.

The necklace!

It hung, suspended perfectly among her cascading gold, and heaving chest. His green eyes focused as he spoke again; very gently, and tensely.

"Where did you find that necklace?" the Hatter's voice slipped out as he gave over to his mind.

"Mother's." was Alice's only reply she looked horrifically dismayed at the random query.

He had never known that, never even dreamt it, and how had she found it, even his mind was not that mad to construct such an apparition.

"You _are _real." He whispered and his pale face carved out a smile.

"Yes…" Alice gasped as his undamaged thumb moved to stroke her face.

"You are most definitely Alice!" It seemed as if something in the delicate, vital stands of fate clicked at the Mad Hatter's long awaited words. "I can't believe you came back to…me, and…you remember?" Alice communicated it to him silently with a teary nod, a crooked smile shinning off her face into his.

Both their broken hearts took the priceless eternal moment to bind themselves together and heal. The Hatter laughed in pure, golden joy, and Alice became giddy and almost spun in to air as she leapt forward to twine her arms around her friend and he clutched desperately to her small back like he would never let go and buried his face in her silken hair.

"Alice!" he breathed into her hair, "MY dear Alice, you've finally come back." The Hatter's horrible fits of anger and betrayal and loss seemed to melt from his mind and relief flooded over his soul. Alice was unable to explain the feeling inside her. All the guilt and horror she had suffering in her heart wrenching dreams had at one point almost driven her mad, she would have done anything to stop them! But by the frantic look in Tarrant's anxious, panging, neon emerald eyes, she knew that he trusted her. "Yes, Hatter." She breathed and they hugged again for a moment of true light.

...

"The sun is rising." said Alice as she saw the first purple bars of light streak from the horizon. She swung her partly bare lag over the edge of the cliff and leaned her back more into Tarrant's shoulder as he twisted abruptly too look at the sky. The silk scarf around his top hat jerked with his movement.

"Oh, yeths." He said.

After they had stopped all the madness in the bed room, Alice and the Mad Hatter had meandered their way to a balcony and then down to the amber cliffs below. They had explained everything, at first almost unable to speak with the swelling hearts and endless regrets, but as time healed; Alice had told her friend about all her small adventures all over the world. Some had been happy, some sad, some shocking and some hilarious. But they all seemed small compared to what she had done, and will do in this wonderful land. And about her mother, her father, her past and possible her future.

It felt gleefully odd to speak to the Hatter again.

He settled back down to stare into space blankly, after a moment Alice sat up and nudged him.

"Hatter?" she said softly, and he rocked out of his stupor.

"I'm fine." He assured Alice, who was just smiling.

She finally asked it.

"Why did you…not believe the White Queen?" she grimaced a bit as the word escaped.

Tarrant looked away. "Because I couldn't take it." He said as if that explained everything. The old, old scars began to open up and ooze new blood.

He looked up at her and squinted his eyes flashing from nervous yellow to smoldering gray.

"You, just unprotected, and…for so long I missed you… So I just did what my…m-m-m…" His face screwed up in thought.

"Mind?" Alice finished, and tried hard not to get upset at herself again. The grinding sand had finally washed away.

"Yes, what my mind told me to." Tarrant brightened up a bit. "But now you are back you see,...and I was about to go over the edge any way, I might as well jump!" The Hatter squeaked.

Alice actually smiled and looked at the sky again. She tried to stifle a yawn, but her mouth opened and sleepy air flushed from her lungs.

The Hatter stood and helped her to her aching feet, they were both tired.

Alice stood for a moment not sure of what to say or do, her whole being whirred with awe and numbness and lulling joy and relief. But she didn't know what to do when the Hatter just lead her up the cliff and to the bed room silently and then stopped at the door.

He gripped her small hands in his orange speckled ones.

"I know you have only been here a grand total of a day-" that gave Alice a bit of a shock as she realized this. "—but tonight is the Reterenfuile Day, and there is a feast and parade of Dragonfish, and…"

"Yes, I'll come." The gravity of all that had happened in the last day pricked Alice's brain, she had woken up in her house, found the Cat, returned to Underland and righted the most precious and wreaked friendship she will ever have.

She pulled into the Mad Hatter, he smelled of soothing herbs and sweet, sweet cream with a zest of citrus. Alice promised in his ear, "I will come to every feast Underland ever has." He flashed slightly tarnished teeth in a smile, and Alice couldn't tell if it was his hat brim, hair, or simply her fuzzy mind, but she swore she could feel him place a timid, wind-soft kiss on her forehead.

"Fairfarren, Alice." and she closed to door to her room, it made with a creak in the orange cream light of sunrise. And Alice slept, before her life truly began in the sun kissed freedom and eerie imagination of a child's Wonderland, forever.

The rest my dear children, is up to you.

End:

But the rest is for another day…

**...**

**W**hew, well, I don't know if that was a satifying endning, but I thought it was sweet, but not too corny. Anyway I want to thank all who gave such kind and motivating reviews, they really sculpetd my writting, and I am so happy you took the time to post them. I am slightly new to being an author and thought it was nice to get my stuff read. So once again thanx!

And by the way, Gadzooks says _Hrrr..._


	12. Epilouge:

**Epilouge:**

**If**

If you can keep your head when all about you  
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;  
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,  
But make allowance for their doubting too;  
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,  
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,  
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,  
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;  
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;  
If you can meet with triumph and disaster  
And treat those two imposters just the same;  
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken  
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,  
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,  
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings  
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,  
And lose, and start again at your beginnings  
And never breath a word about your loss;  
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew  
To serve your turn long after they are gone,  
And so hold on when there is nothing in you  
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";  
If you can fill the unforgiving minute  
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -  
Yours is this Land and everything in it

And—which is more—you'll be in Wonderland, my friend.

**--Rudyard Kipling**

**............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**

**I **thought this poem fit nicely to my story. I claim no ownership of Rudyard Kipling or any of his works, although I did edit some lines and change one line. Hope you like.


End file.
